All the sadness will end here

Christmas Eve, a night should be full of Joy~
2012 Christmas eve, I not sure how many pain should I go through,
Seriously, I feel I am kinda down on this Joyful season.
Please let me cry out loud,
Just that the pain already don't know how to cry d.

Am I a toy or a stock?
Is it so hard to communicate well with me?

Alone sometimes doesn't means a bad things,
I feel alone is worth at this moment,
I really hate those who don't appreciate me.
So I will appreciate myself more.

I want write all the sadness in here,
Then hide my heart in a dark space.
I am not going to give out my heart again.
I want to be strong.

12.12.12 J.L.

Recently, I don't know what is in my mind.
My life is enjoy enough,
My luck is good.
I got my offer letter which what I want at the 1st place.
I have resigned and serve one month notice right now in the office.

Suddenly I feel a bit upset to leave, but I know I wish to move on.
Just end a sister trip to Penang and next week another trip to Vietnam.
Great December, Great relax time,
Summore Uncle Lim have sponsor me a pair of new heels.
What a great December. :)

But I still miss you, Mr. J. L.
I wish I can share my every single happy moment with you.
12.12.12, I wish I have the courage to call you or whatapps you,
Just to tell you how much I Love You.
I am thinking for the whole day whether should I do so or not.
But I not dare at the end, I am worry I will push you away from me again.
How I wish I can fly over Koh Lippe to accompany you,
I am worry you will be too lonely while alone out there.
Till this moment, I still feel I wish to married you only.
Can't you feel the love from me?
Again, to not disappointed myself, I decide to do nothing.

If this is the last post on 2012,
A simple record of 2012,

I realize how true is my love is.
I realize how hard to earn money.
I now understand how luxury my life is last time.
I know how much my parents love me.
I understand how worry am I by getting old.
I found that it is very hard to fulfill my goal list with my spending behavior.
So, next year I will target myself save money only.
Change my eating habbit and quit gym.
Hopefully I can save RM20k next year.

Stress

Recently I really so stress,
I stress till I don't know why,
I will really blame the people around me.
I can't cry. How?

Are you walking away again this time?

Sometimes, it is better don't hope for somethings.
When you expect something but you know it is impossible?
At the end, your expectation become nothing and left with disappointed.

I  am not sure,
I wish to know what I meant to you?
Do you have a little bit of feeling to me?
Or just you are boring and you know I am there always for you?
I admit I also boring, but I don't know how long can it be with this relationship getting worst.

I am so disappointed with you.
Everyday I am telling myself to be ready,
I really worry I see you in a relationship when I open my facebook.
I everyday telling myself, don't check on you anymore.
But I very miss you.

I don't understand why I so love you,
Until I am willing to be your backup SP.
Can you don't do so to me again?
It is hurt.

Are you walking away again this time?

Are you come back again this time?

Out of sudden,
You have come back to my life,
After 3weeks no contact with you.
When I don't care,
Suddenly you come talk to me,
I was thought we just friend,
And you told me you like my behaviour now,
I wondering, Did I changed?
Or actually you are more happy when I didn't look for you?

Then you like the one who didn't look for you?
I got no idea, but i realize when I no need guess what you want,
Then this is what you really want,
You are not happy when I try to understand you, understand your world.
Let it be, how long will this continue?

I know I still love you,
And I feel happy that I finally find a way to be with you.

Yesterday I smile a lot for you, do you know that?
I know we forever can't be just friend,
But sound like we only can be friend.
I really wish I can walk my whole life with you,
You are the one I wish to be together without any benefits.

I miss you so much, can't wait for our date again as promise.
I hope and pray you remember your promise yesterday night.
Eventhough, I know you are the one who don't keep your promise,
I still pray for it.

I wish you come back to me this time.

Move on

I don't know why,
But I know let go only I can have better life.

That is not an ending of us,
Just a beginning as friends,
I will appreciate you,
You will regret.

Let time move me on~

Why add me back in Facebook look not nice?
I very sad with the answer that you give,
I cannot understand.

I already give you know the truth,
You believe but you don't want accept me back.

Let time bring me to the better future.