Recently

Time flies.
One year already.
Who am I today is what I did yesterday.

Complicated feeling.
I always wish to be in a stable relationship,
Find a boy friend that really willing introduce all his friend to me,
Find a guy who is really willing to spend his valuable time with me,
Find a guy who is really wish to know all my friend.
I don't like to be so secretive.
Last year I thought he will be the one but only last for 2 months.
This year, I understand that it is really hard for me in a proper relationship.
Because I'm not confidence we will last for more than 2 months,
luckily now we already 2 month.
Now I wish, at least half year for this relationship.

My friend say it is an addiction.
What I think is, I lazy want to change current situation or I actually like this.
But sometimes I refuse to be like this,
may be it just because I cannot really tell the world he is mine.
I don't like sharing, I really scare one day I realize i'm sharing him wit a girl.

Well, this is what we call casual relationship.
No commitment, freedom to do anything,
of course, I have to bear the consequences.
I have to "one eye open, one eye close".
Yes, I'm free to do everything.
Club with four guys friends,
Out with guy friend for grocery.
Without worry about how should I explain or misundertstand.
This is the advantage of casual relationship.
But the disadvantage is I cannot jealous if he do the same things.

Am I happy with him right now?
Yeah, I am happy every time together with him.
But he really has so less time to spend with me.
I see him almost one week once,
I talk to him almost 2 days once thru facebook chat or msn.
Everytime only 10 to 20 mins.
I'm now worry, soon I will be bored of it.

*If God let me met him, why God want to make him sound complicated to me?

For recently so many unlucky happen on me,
1st time, I don't really think about what will happen next for this relationship.
Maybe because of this, that why it last longer.
Finish thinking, let it be.

Hooray~ I wish I can get my car on Nov. I really wish that!

*Pray to God, please help me to decide what should I do next.